FAQ If I Know: Anal Sex
The taboos once associated with backdoor love have been tossed out the window. It’s no longer weird to overhear a conversation about butt play. Every porn site has a special category just for anal. Many women’s magazines are even covering the subject. This is a good thing. Open dialogues about sex should exist. Without taboo, sex can become safe, and people can stop feeling like aliens for liking or discussing it. What porn and many women’s magazines leave out, though, are the real facts about going in through the outdoor (I think I’ve pulled from the Anal Sex Thesaurus quite enough for one day, pardon the pun). Today, we’ll answer the questions many people want to know about that once forbidden topic: anal sex.
- If I have anal sex, I’m still a virgin, right?
No. I’m sorry to burst any bubbles, but any sex means you’ve lost your virginity. Anal sex is not an easy out, sorry.
- At least I can’t get pregnant this way, right?
No again. While pregnancy cannot occur directly from anal sex, it can occur indirectly. Anytime sperm in the vicinity of female genitalia, it is possible for them to travel up through the vagina. Remember, the anus and the vagina are very close neighbors. If sperm finds its way across the tiny area between the two, you could definitely end up pregnant.
- My partner said I’m weird because I don’t like anal. He said all the porn stars do it. Am I weird?
Definitely not. The sex portrayed in porn and the sex here in reality are totally different. Being paid to participate in an activity doesn’t even ensure one actually likes it. I used to get paid to clean the bathroom at work, but I didn’t like it. Some people do enjoy anal, but some don’t. Film is not necessarily reality, and you can’t set your sexual expectations by what you see. You simply must not let yourself be bullied or pressured into participating in anal. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. If your partner can’t accept that, then perhaps it’s time to rethink being with someone who can’t respect your personal boundaries.
- Is it safe for my partner to put his penis/toy in my mouth or vagina after anal like they do in movies?
Yes and no. It is safe, but only after his penis or the toy has been cleansed. Once again, movies aren’t fair depictions of reality, and unless EColi or a horrible vaginal infection are on your bucket list, it’s best to make sure whatever has been in your bum is clean before it’s inserted elsewhere. Your partner may think you’re being a spoil sport, but nothing will ruin the party like projectile vomiting, explosive diarrhea, or an infected vagina.
- Am I safe from sexually transmitted infections when I have anal?
I cannot say this loudly enough: NO!
If you are with a partner who could have an STI or someone you do not have any idea about, you simply must use protection. There is no such thing as unprotected “safe” sex. There is no safe zone. Not oral. Not anal. None. The same rules apply with anal as do with any other type of sex. Make sure to use a condom, and make extra sure it doesn’t come off inside you. If the condom does come off inside your rectum, you may need medical attention to remove it. Do not let that statement deter you from using a condom. The risk of losing a condom inside your intestinal tract is much less than contracting an STI, some of which are life threatening.
- Does my doctor need to know if I’m having anal sex?
There isn’t a need to make a special appointment unless you’re having complications. However, you should be discussing your sexual activity with your doctor, including anal sex, at your regular appointments. Your doctor can only keep you healthy if you’re 100% truthful.
- Does anal sex always hurt?
Some people say being penetrated anally is pleasurable, but others say it’s an incredibly painful experience. It really differs between each individual.
- Can anal sex make you bleed?
Tears can happen on the anus, but also further up inside the rectum. Not using enough lubricant, being penetrated by something too large, or too intercourse that is too vigorous can all cause bleeding. While this is “normal,” bleeding is also a sign intercourse should stop. Make sure your partner is aware so serious injury doesn’t occur.
- If I have anal sex, does that make me gay?
While I won’t go into the discourse on people being “made” gay, I will say that having anal sex, even if you’re a man, isn’t the deciding factor. Many men who identify as “straight” enjoy being anally penetrated by toys or fingers. May men have experimented with anal sex with other men. Those activities alone cannot and do not make someone any one thing or another, and they shouldn’t be judged as such.
- Can I actually orgasm from anal?
It’s hard to say. Some people say they do, but others say they cannot. That really depends on your own personal anatomy, your partner’s attentiveness to your needs, and how comfortable you are in the situation. Many factors can contribute to or take from the possibility of orgasm. There is no rulebook.
Next week, we’ll continue our discussion on sex with FAQ If I Know: What’s A Vagina,
So long, and safe play.
(Cover image source: https://www.google.com/search?q=taboo&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiVjaazqL_KAhWMSiYKHeMQD2EQ_AUICCgC&biw=1366&bih=667#imgrc=hzqMlCAhOwYRiM%3A)