FAQ If I Know: Anal Sex (#1 in the All About Sex Series)

 

FAQ If I Know:  Anal Sex

 

 

The taboos once associated with backdoor love have been tossed out the window. It’s no longer weird to overhear a conversation about butt play. Every porn site has a special category just for anal. Many women’s magazines are even covering the subject. This is a good thing. Open dialogues about sex should exist. Without taboo, sex can become safe, and people can stop feeling like aliens for liking or discussing it. What porn and many women’s magazines leave out, though, are the real facts about going in through the outdoor (I think I’ve pulled from the Anal Sex Thesaurus quite enough for one day, pardon the pun). Today, we’ll answer the questions many people want to know about that once forbidden topic: anal sex.

 

1. If I have anal sex, I’m still a virgin, right?

 

No. I’m sorry to burst any bubbles, but any sex means you’ve lost your virginity. Anal sex is not an easy out, sorry.

 

2. At least I can’t get pregnant this way, right?

 

No again. While pregnancy cannot occur directly from anal sex, it can occur indirectly. Anytime sperm in the vicinity of female genitalia, it is possible for them to travel up through the vagina. Remember, the anus and the vagina are very close neighbors. If sperm finds its way across the tiny area between the two, you could definitely end up pregnant.

 

3. My partner said I’m weird because I don’t like anal. He said all the porn stars do it. Am I weird?

 

Definitely not. The sex portrayed in porn and the sex here in reality are totally different. Being paid to participate in an activity doesn’t even ensure one actually likes it. I used to get paid to clean the bathroom at work, but I didn’t like it. Some people do enjoy anal, but some don’t. Film is not necessarily reality, and you can’t set your sexual expectations by what you see. You simply must not let yourself be bullied or pressured into participating in anal. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. If your partner can’t accept that, then perhaps it’s time to rethink being with someone who can’t respect your personal boundaries.

 

4. Is it safe for my partner to put his penis/toy in my mouth or vagina after anal like they do in movies?

 

Yes and no. It is safe, but only after his penis or the toy has been cleansed. Once again, movies aren’t fair depictions of reality, and unless EColi or a horrible vaginal infection are on your bucket list, it’s best to make sure whatever has been in your bum is clean before it’s inserted elsewhere. Your partner may think you’re being a spoil sport, but nothing will ruin the party like projectile vomiting, explosive diarrhea, or an infected vagina.

 

5. Am I safe from sexually transmitted infections when I have anal?

I cannot say this loudly enough: NO!

If you are with a partner who could have an STI or someone you do not have any idea about, you simply must use protection. There is no such thing as unprotected “safe” sex. There is no safe zone. Not oral. Not anal. None. The same rules apply with anal as do with any other type of sex. Make sure to use a condom, and make extra sure it doesn’t come off inside you. If the condom does come off inside your rectum, you may need medical attention to remove it. Do not let that statement deter you from using a condom. The risk of losing a condom inside your intestinal tract is much less than contracting an STI, some of which are life threatening.

 

6. Does my doctor need to know if I’m having anal sex?

Yes.

There isn’t a need to make a special appointment unless you’re having complications. However, you should be discussing your sexual activity with your doctor, including anal sex, at your regular appointments. Your doctor can only keep you healthy if you’re 100% truthful.

 

7. Does anal sex always hurt?

That depends.

Some people say being penetrated anally is pleasurable, but others say it’s an incredibly painful experience. It really differs between each individual.

 

8. Can anal sex make you bleed?

Yes.

Tears can happen on the anus, but also further up inside the rectum. Not using enough lubricant, being penetrated by something too large, or too intercourse that is too vigorous can all cause bleeding. While this is “normal,” bleeding is also a sign intercourse should stop. Make sure your partner is aware so serious injury doesn’t occur.

9. If I have anal sex, does that make me gay?

While I won’t go into the discourse on people being “made” gay, I will say that having anal sex, even if you’re a man, isn’t the deciding factor. Many men who identify as “straight” enjoy being anally penetrated by toys or fingers. May men have experimented with anal sex with other men. Those activities alone cannot and do not make someone any one thing or another, and they shouldn’t be judged as such.

 

10. Can I actually orgasm from anal?

It’s hard to say. Some people say they do, but others say they cannot. That really depends on your own personal anatomy, your partner’s attentiveness to your needs, and how comfortable you are in the situation. Many factors can contribute to or take from the possibility of orgasm. There is no rulebook.

Next week, we’ll continue our discussion on sex with FAQ If I Know: What’s A Vagina,
Really?

So long, and safe play.

(Cover image source: https://www.google.com/search?q=taboo&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiVjaazqL_KAhWMSiYKHeMQD2EQ_AUICCgC&biw=1366&bih=667#imgrc=hzqMlCAhOwYRiM%3A)

FAQ If I Know: Plagiarism

To kick off our series of FAQ, we will begin with a subject with which all writers need to be not just familiar, but up close and comfy: Plagiarism. When we talk about plagiarism, we aren’t just talking about something students avoid so as not to be expelled, but something all writers, public speakers, and the like must be on the lookout for.

Plagiarism doesn’t only steal the ideas and intellectual property of another person, it takes from the plagiarizer all credibility and any stance as an ethical voice. Unreliable, unethical people generally don’t get to hang out at the party too long before they’re discovered and removed. Therefore, if you plan to have any kind of career, you must take all precautions against plagiarism. Not to mention, the long and short of the story is that plagiarism is nothing short of theft. No one wants to have their intellectual property, thoughts, or ideas stolen. So, it’s important that we protect one another as artists, educators, and students.Making sure you’re not plagiarizing isn’t all that difficult, but it can be a bit confusing in the beginning. So, let’s get right to the questions most people have.

 

1. How do I know if I’m plagiarizing?

The answer to this is pretty easy. If you are in anyway quoting, paraphrasing, summarizing, or in any other way borrowing an idea that is not your own without giving proper credit to its owner, you are plagiarizing.

 

2. How do I know when to include citation?

Again, if you are in anyway quoting, paraphrasing, summarizing, or in any other way borrowing an idea that is not your own you must include proper citation.

3. How do I avoid plagiarizing?

The very first thing I tell writers is to begin by free writing. Put your own thoughts on paper before you consult your research sources. Write your ideas first. Then you should clearly know what ideas are your own.  * (Consult footnote below about pre-writing and research.)

The next thing I tell them is during research, carefully notate sources, copying citation information onto a separate page so you won’t forget where you acquired the information. Underline and make notations directly in the text when possible. When you can’t, carefully copy quotes and paraphrases onto a separate sheet along with citation information. Doing so will save you problems in the long run.

If an idea or concept is common knowledge, for instance, ‘The United States had a Civil War,’ then you probably don’t need citation, although you may depending on your project, and if that would truly be common knowledge. However, if you say something like ‘During the Civil War, General Lee was killed by…,’ then that is no longer common knowledge. You are stating a historical fact/data. You simply must cite.

When in doubt, cite it. No one gets in trouble for citing information. They only get in trouble for not citing. Don’t be the one.

 

4. But I don’t know how to cite. Who can help me?

One of the most overlooked resources we have in the US is our local library, and more importantly, our local librarians. To be a librarian, you must have a graduate degree. They aren’t just someone who sits behind a desk sorting books. These folks have a plethora of information from which you can benefit, and benefit freely. If asked, most can help you with citation.

If you happen upon a librarian who cannot help, websites like Purdue Owl  are available 24 hours a day. These free sites offer tools for different types of citation, and give visual examples for each type.

 

5. Ok, so which type of citation do I use?

Generally speaking, you will use MLA for all things English, APA for all things science, and Chicago style for humanities and social sciences. Still not sure? Consult this site , or if you’re in school, ask your instructor which they prefer.

While these are the most common questions about plagiarism and citation, this is not all-inclusive, to be sure. If you have other questions or need further guidance, don’t hesitate to comment or message me here .

*A note on freewriting when researching:

Freewriting is thing of beauty. It can help clarify your ideas, open a dialogue for more ideas, and help avoid plagiarism. However, when you begin to research, you must take caution to not only look for sources that support your argument. You must also find counterarguments. After all, no one is always 100% correct, and the whole basis of research is your thesis statement, or the question you are trying to answer. Don’t fall into the trap of only finding the things you want to believe. Strengthen your argument by looking into other theses as well. Perhaps, that should be another FAQ topic all its own.

 

(Cover image via: //www.google.com/search?q=plagiarism&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwighKnlp6zKAhUGSiYKHRzgB2gQ_AUIBygC#imgrc=IB_xt3Fc9lNXpM%3A)

FAQ If I Know

Welcome to the blog that answers all the questions about everything you ever wanted to know!

Each week we will address a new topic people often wonder about. We’ll research and consult experts to help us figure out just what in the world the answers are to our most burning questions. Each weekly segment will include interviews, scholarly information, info-graphics, pictures, or anything else we find useful in answering these ever important questions.

Subjects will range from books to music, cooking to mechanics, gaming to writing,  lawn care to pet care, finance to sex. There are few topics we won’t touch. So, if there is a question burning in your mind, send it our way. We’ll do our level best to find all the information so you don’t have to.